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Losing Steam.
After a few months of keeping up with my “regimen”, I started getting weaker. I couldn’t pick up my two-year-old any longer. It was too much to drive. I had a very active toddler and stayed home with her while my husband worked. It was very challenging to focus on healing and watching her as well. As anyone with a toddler knows, they need constant attention.
My daughter would get into mischief while I was doing a treatment or busy with something else. It started to be unsafe, as it was too much for me to ensure she was staying out of trouble. At this point my hips and ligaments hurt and were aching all of the time. I was having a hard time getting around. I was having really bad food allergies and I would get welts.
It was a very heart-wrenching decision, but we decided that it would be the best thing for me to take my toddler and stay with my parents in another state. It is about an 11 hour drive from here. That was such a hard decision. That meant that I wouldn’t be able to see my other children for 6 weeks. It broke my heart but I knew that I needed help and needed to focus on healing.
My Mom helped me juice and prepare some of the food that I needed every day. My parents took the responsibilities off of my shoulders and loved on me. All I was to focus on was healing. It was so life-giving.
We also pursued some alternative treatments at a local health provider. I started taking high-dose vitamin C and ozone UBI treatments. I did infrared saunas and an ozone sauna. The treatments really seemed to help. I started to get stronger and I felt like I was getting better.
After 6 weeks I was reunited with the rest of my family. It was wonderful. I decided that I would try to go home and see if I could keep things going by myself. I found an alternative Doctor about 45 minutes from my house. I started seeing him 2- 3 times a week. I started with a test to see what I had going on. It showed the Lymphoma but also, Lymes with a few co-infections, Epstein Barr, and a couple other things I can’t remember.
I started on 10 Pass Ozone treatments and continued the high dose vitamin C. I also did other IV treatments, like Amino Acids and Vitamins. The first treatment I felt great. The second one… I had a huge detox and my lymph nodes swole up SO big. It hurt a lot and it was actually kind of terrifying. I am going to attach a picture. If you are squeamish… scroll down really fast. 🙂
After about 2 months or so, I was starting to get better. I gained 5-8 pounds. I had more energy. I was driving by myself and was able to live semi-normally. My full-time job was to work on healing. It really took so much of my time and attention.
I was feeling hopeful that I was starting to beat the cancer. What was so bizarre though is that I was struggling so much with depression and anxiety. I was constantly battling “what if” thoughts. When my kids asked me if I was going to be okay, I told them yes…. and didn’t know if I was lying or not. At this point, I had no idea how it was going to end up.
My husband and I did not see eye to eye on what treatment plan was best. He wanted me to go through the traditional chemo and radiation protocols. Since we were at odds about that, there was a distance there. We were both walking through our own grief about everything. I have learned that everyone deals with grief differently and there is so much grace for that.
I realized that I didn’t have a strong emotional support system like I did at my parent’s house, and I was really starting to struggle. Emotionally and mentally, I was not doing well. As strange as it sounds, I was having a hard time to find a reason to keep fighting. I was feeling completely worn out.
In February 2019, I switched my diet from Vegan to Keto. I was starting to lose weight again and I started coughing and getting weaker. I had constant rib pain from coughing so much. I was in bed most of the time. I finally decided as much that as I didn’t want to leave my home and family, I needed to go back to parents because it was getting very scary. I knew I needed help.
So I left again with my toddler to return to live with my parents. This time, I didn’t know how long I would be there…
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