This one is a bit personal for me. About 5 years ago, I decided that I might want to try my hand at writing. I grabbed my bible, notebook, and my ginormous concordance. Oh, and a trusty Bic pen. I’m super old school like that. Somehow, I ended up in Psalm 106:24.
Psalm 106:24 (NLT) “The people refused to enter the pleasant land, for they wouldn’t believe his promise to care for them.”
Really? I had always thought they weren’t able to go in because they were grumbling and complaining. This really tugged on my heart, so I dug in to learn a bit more. God just wanted them to believe that he would care for them. To trust that He was for them.
About 1 month after God had delivered them from slavery the Israelites were complaining. They wanted to go back into slavery because they thought that they were going to die where God had led them. They thought that God had bad intentions toward them and even wanted to kill them.
Exodus 16:1-3 ” Then the whole community of Israel set out from Elim and journeyed into the wilderness of Sin, between Elim and Mount Sinai. They arrived there on the fifteenth day of the second month, one month after leaving the land of Egypt.
There, too, the whole community of Israel complained about Moses and Aaron. ‘If only the Lord had killed us back in Egypt,’ they moaned. ‘There we sat around pots filled with meat and ate all the bread we wanted. But now you have brought us into this wilderness to starve us all to death.’ ”
Now, they had just seen God perform many miracles on their behalf. He defeated their enemies. He delivered them from slavery. He spared them from the 7 plagues and literally split the Red Sea so they could walk through it. Can you even imagine seeing that? He was still there with them with a pillar of cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night.
He was visibly with them. So why would they even think that he would do all of that just to bring them to a place to perish? Why do we as humans think that way and are so suspicious? How could they forget what God had just done for them only 1 month ago?
How often have I done this exact thing to the Lord? Why is so hard to trust sometimes? This concept has been stirring in my heart since then.
Back to the personal part. Fast forward 3 years later. It was the morning of July 3rd, 2019. I had been admitted to the hospital for stage 3 Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. I was in pretty rough shape. I had received my first round of chemo 2 days prior.
I honestly didn’t know if I was going to make it or not. They had taken me that morning to get fluid off my lung… the second time, because there was so much, and we were trying to get my right lung back online. I will spare you the details. You’re welcome.
Right after that procedure, I was on a hospital bed being rolled through a maze of hallways to go get a bone marrow biopsy. They needed to see if the cancer was in my bones. I was alone. I was terrified. They were going to put me lightly under and I was so fearful that my body being so weak, would not be able to tolerate it.
As I was being wheeled through the hallways, this thought drops into my mind out of nowhere, which I know was the Lord.
“He has not brought you all this way to drop you now.”
Oh this still brings tears to my eyes. How kind of the Lord to let me know when I was alone that He was right there with me. He had not left me. Even though I felt far from Him, He was right there reminding me of his faithfulness.
I immediately thought back to the story of the Israelites and what happened right after they crossed into the desert. At what point had God ever failed them? Never. God had a 100% track record of being faithful. At that moment I felt that I could identify with the Israelites in a way.
Do things look dire? Yep. Do I know how this is going to end? No. Will I ever see my husband and kids again? I don’t know. Yet, I was being drawn into this invitation.
“Will you trust Me to care for you?”
“Will you believe Me that I am good and that I love you?”
When the Israelites questioned, “Can we even trust this God?”, it makes me think. We have the benefit of seeing the end of their story and the big picture. It makes it easy for us to see what God might have been doing and his plan. It makes logical sense to us for the Israelites to trust God. I bet though, in the middle of it, it seemed very scary and uncertain.
“When we are walking through something and can’t see to the other side… this is where I think this invitation is whispered to our hearts.”
Deuteronomy 1:31-33 NLT “ ‘And you saw how the Lord your God cared for you all along the way as you traveled through the wilderness, just as a father cares for his child. Now he has brought you to this place.’ But even after all he did, you refused to trust the Lord your God, who goes before you looking for the best places to camp, guiding you with a pillar of fire by night and a pillar of cloud by day.”
So here is the “elephant in the room” that we have to talk about. It’s actually unbelief to say that he won’t take care of us. Ouch. It seems to be that trusting Him is a requirement or perhaps we will not see good things that He has planned for us.
In his mercy and love, he knows that His care is the very best thing for us. It always is. This isn’t a super comfortable thing to talk about, but it’s the truth. I need to know the truth and truth in its entirety…not just a portion.
The Israelites of that first generation did not get to enter the promised land because of it. They complained and didn’t believe. That’s a big deal. I think that we may all be given this same opportunity in our lives to believe or not. Even though they did not trust Him to care for them, He was still faithful and took care of them. But… they missed out on entering the promised land.
Can I be honest? It is SO scary to trust sometimes. I have struggled with trusting God my whole life. Even now, I still have to choose to. I can’t allow my feelings to be running the “trust” show because then I might miss out. I don’t want to miss out. I want to see all the things God has planned for me.
So here is the invitation. Will we? Will we surrender to his loving care? Will we choose to trust even though we are scared?
Declarations:
- I will let you take care of me Lord!
- You are good and trustworthy with all things and in all situations!
- Even when I can’t see what’s happening, I choose to let you care for me God!
- Thank you for being such a good caretaker and a good Father!
Prayer:
Oh, our sweet Father. We are so grateful that you want to care for us. That you designed it that way. Thank you that you never leave us and you delight in being our Father and caretaker. Search our hearts to show us any areas that we are not trusting you. So quickly we forget what you have walked us through. You have never failed us and yet still we sometimes question if you are trustworthy. Forgive us for not believing you sometimes. Help us remember your faithfulness. Lord whisper to our hearts again when we forget. Remind us how much we are loved. Remind us how we are your beloved children and you long for us to know your heart towards us. Give us the courage to let go and let you love us. You are a good Father and we are so grateful to be your children. We love you.
